when do you feel like an ugly duckling?

Almost 23.05 pm, and I haven't sleep yet, may be it's still an episode of my guilt, after neglect my Chicantamus.

Anyway, I just have a conversation with my sister, first is our crazy plan to travelling, starting with my plan in tomorrow evening to go the book store in one of the mall here, to meet my favourite writer Trinity jeng..jeng..jeng..she wrote Naked Traveller and it successed to burn my passion to travel anywhere. Anyway, suddenly, we just plan to go Thailand next year. Horeee!!!sounds really great!!!really great!!!I try to force her to go this year but she said that she still need time to arrange it. I said, I want to work, I have my little own savings, so we can go as soon as possible. But, well, may be she is not as spontaneous as I am, so we decided next year. Really next year.yihaa.....

Suddenly, we talk about our aunt who live so far away and we haven't met for long time. Hope she is okay.

and, suddenly we talk about our childhood. suddenly, I told her, that the worst time in my life is when I was in junior high school. frankly, I had kinda confidence crisis. well, it's common to be one of the most well-known issues for teenager. I never had boyfriend when I was in junior high school. I was such a nerd!! I prefer to face thousands letters than I must talk to people. I felt like, I always have bad hair day. I was too tall, have really really dark skin, I was out of the fashion, and just in average academically.

But I really glad that I ever such an ugly duckling. That ugly duckling really teach me to love my self, when I minimize the interactions surround me, I was busy to build my character from inside. I consider, now, that ugly duckling-Era was my time to know my self better. I found my self, my own definition, what I hate, what I like, what I want to be, what I want go to, while all girls as young as me busy to get their first kiss, busy to hang out, busy to make their first date, busy talking the cutest senior ever in that school, and bla ...bla...

Beside, while I was an ugly duckling, I find my real real best friends forever, best friends that never last. so, they don't love how I look, but they love me, no matter what.

From now on, that ugly duckling has flown away. fly to somewhere, search another girl who need find her truly happiness, if she can make it.

I never regret that I ever be an ugly nerd duckling because that ugly duckling taught me so much, that ugly duckling was being part of me.

How about you,reader? Did you let your ugly duckling fly away, became a swan? or you still in ugly duckling-era? don't worry, let it works and finishes its job, you will find the same result like me, keep my words: never let people to tell you what to do, you have your own process, just like me with my ugly duckling :)

I am back, really, really, I am back

I am sorry really sorry, I know what this thing called. Laziness? Busyness?or what?
Well, as you know, staring in July 1st then ended in August 26th I was in my village project like society obedience I told you before.
Owh, God! So much story I must tell you.
These are the big events happened to me :

village from the top view

#1 My society obedience
Okay, let’s start now. I lived in one of the native’s house there. My team consisted about twelve people. Four boys and eight girls. Actually, the team should be in 14. Our work is making some programs that will increase their health standard. Sounds boring? Yeah, little. But that’s a must.
I tell you the facts there, first, people do not boil their water for drink, well, its Indonesian, we live in tropic which have suitable temperature for bacteria growth. So, sometimes I feel little afraid to have such a drink when I come to one of their house. Then, they don’t have toilet. They have poo and pee in garden, well, not all of them but just about 40% have toilet. The rest? Nope. Well, you can think they have primitive way. But that’s the fact. But! Believe me, I lived in best house so I didn’t pee and poo in the garden like them. The truth is cruel. But mostly, I really have great time there.

little part of my team

this is where I had lived in, it's traditional house of Makassar

this is the place where they feed their horses

In that place, eating horse is well known. Really, it’s hard to find cow or buffalo there. But you can find horse easily. Anyway, I lived in a house who live village mayor’s dad and his wife. They are old. They just have one daughter but she doesn’t live there. So hard at first time. First, we have shift for cooking, washing the dishes, shopping in traditional market there, sweeping, moping, and many things to done. Well, frankly, I doubt boys, mostly they can’t handle or lazy to make such those things.

I attended one traditional wedding here

But, I have really really great experience. I always ride scuter there, kind of motorcycle like vespa, for about two hours to go to market. And my cooking shift is in Friday.

We also make like program such as circumcision, oral check-up, internal check up, and other which not always get welcome. Well, for your information, I have to share a bed with four of my friends and share bathroom with my other eight friend too. I really remember how noise if we gathered. Not just like in other girl’s bedroom which soo calm. Not like us. I tell you a secret, we even ever broke our bed…twice, as I remember. And we just fixed it. We all became carpenters in our bedroom. Ha ha.
Almost for two month I had stayed there. So many things to learn. I learn how to live more independent, learn how to talk in traditional language (Makassar language), learn how to live with persons you don’t know before, learn to share everything, learn to live in strange place. anyway here some Makassar language:

Ngandre=eat
Leba’(with emphasize in last word)=done
Je’ne’(emphasize too)=water
Juku=fish
Bambang=hot
Ta’roko-roko=having cough (I really know this one, cause mostly my patients say this)
Kamainjo=like that
Siapa=how much (usually for asking the price)
La’ding=knive
Apa anjo=what do you mean?

Ha ha…I forget some words..